5:00pm Well, I finally got home early enough to sign up. Registered and ready. Now it's time to get some snacks, a cool beverage and get comfortable. The kids aren't home yet, so it's nice and peaceful. I begin with my normal ritual of quiet meditation while
5:15pm The tournament begins without me, which is fine. I'm sort of a PokerBrat that way. Without the high-rent models and Caesar costume, of course. I still have the ego, though.
5:16pm Check the hand history to see what I missed. AA on the second hand, dammit. Probably would have lost anyway. Shit, it would have been Aces full on the turn. Dammit dammit dammit.
5:18pm Ok, back to my happy place. Think of the butterflies.
5:31pm I've folded every hand for two rounds. Why wasn't I here for those Aces?!
5:45pm I have a hand! As-5s. I raise 3x and get 5 callers. FIVE friggin' callers, dammit! Flop is 6d-7d-8c. I'm good enough to fold the idiot end of the straight when there is a flush draw out there.
5:46pm Wrong. I called a smallish bet only to get raised by the button and re-raised all-in by the BB. Why did I flush away 200 chips on this damn hand?
5:47pm Winner? K-7 off-suit. Butterflies...
6:00pm "We're home, Daddy!" It's the kids.
Dr. Chako: Give me quick hugs. Daddy's... working.
Son #1: No you're not. You're playing poker online again.
Son #2: Yeah, Dad. That's not work.
Dr. Chako: Hush! I have to do this to win a bet.
Son #1: Did you just call a bet with a 7 and a 9? That's not a very good hand, you know...
Dr. Chako: Go watch Sponge Bob!
Son #2: This is for play money, right Daddy?
Dr. Chako: . . . yes.
Son #2: You sure get excited about play money.
Dr. Chako: Did I not tell you to go watch TV?
Son #1: This is better.
6:15pm It's after the 1st break and I'm a little above average. The kids have grown bored of watching Daddy fold a lot and have drifted away. I pick up AK twice and win both times when I bet the pot on the flop. Both times with air. What are these morons calling with?
6:35pm 10-10 in late position. 4 limpers in front and I raise pot. Every damn one of these lemurs calls. Flop? A K Q. Buh-by 10s.
6:45pm I call a LAG raise with AQ. Flop is Q-J-x. I start to drool.
Son #2: Daddy, can I have a juice bag?
Dr. Chako (not looking away from monitor): Sure kid. Whatever.
Son #1: Dad, can my buddy sleep over tonight.
Dr. Chako: Sure, whatev... Wait. What? Sleepover?
At this point, I turn away from the monitor to look at son #1.
Dr. Chako: It's probably okay, but you kids...
BING! It's my turn to act
He checked. I check behind without thinking much about it
Dr. Chako (turning back to son #1): you kids better not be banging around all night and keeping me up. I have to ...
BING!!
Dr. Chako: He pushed? Pushed?! What? Um... I think... Wait, who bet the flop?
Son #1: Thanks Dad!
Dr. Chako: Thanks? Huh? Wait! Son! Um.. I call. He has Q-2. There's a 2 on the turn. FUCK!
Son #2: Daddy?
Dr. Chako: Go away! Don't repeat that!
Son #2: Repeat what, Daddy?
Dr. Chako: Nevermind. Just... go back and watch TV.
Son #2 (walking away): Did you hear what Daddy said? He sure gets excited about play money.
Yeah, next time I'm just gonna wait until they're asleep.
Posts
lol - that was great doc.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you the number of times that's happened to me. I don't even bother playing when my wife + kid are awake. For a while, I was putting my daughter to bed, pop into a tourney and 5 minutes into it she'd be wandering around the apt again.I finally started putting her to bed and camping out with my laptop in her room till she was really asleep.
I find that I end up cashing almost every time I have the two-year old daughter sleeping on me on the couch.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't work well for MTT's, though.